Feeling No Fear Or Constantly Fearing Mistakes - The upbringing of an culture of unconscious feeling education

Bild von Melanie Straub

In modern culture regarding the Feeling of Fear you basically got two choices and in only one of them you get trained to become a master. Avoiding Fear. The other choice is to constantly feel Fear of making a mistake.

Many housholds and public schools function with these limited and unconscious choices at their base. If you grew up in modern culture gameworlds, the following might apply: As you grow up, you probably unconsciously had to choose every day anew between one of the choices so that you could be part of their culture. Making use of your fear to align your actions with the ‘right’ behavior and the ‘right’ answers might have been one of the main ways to spend your attention. Doing what the teacher benefits. Asking yourself what your father wants, so you get his attention. Or, ‘What does my mother need from me so she is okay? I need her to be okay so I can be okay’.

Small crucial moments of your inattention creating terrible results for your young and vulnerable being. A screaming man, three times the size of you standing in your face yelling and humiliating you. Huge numbers of admonishing views of your teachers because your question was ‘stupid’ or your test mark was even worse than last time or again you failed to give the ‘right’ answer. You would notice how the teachers would prefer to hear the answer of one of your classmates, who usually gives more intelligent and accurate answers. You’d feel how the attention from your mother and other adults was directed away from you and you’d stay sitting there with an uncomfortable confusion or subtle embarrassment.

The variety of ways you collected ‘negative attention’ must be astonishing. So must be the price you paid. Every moment of disregard was a punch-back for your couriousity, your spontaneousness and aliveness. The rampant natural glow of your wellbeing facing the categories of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ causes a phenomenal level of irritation. Incapsuled in this irritation you probably hold huge amounts of emotional Fear, Anger and Sadness. But you had to find a way to fit in and function, otherwise the Fear of not belonging, not being accepted and not being generously wanted would have been terribly high and consuming. The choices were to use your fear to scan for what is needed or to numb yourself enough, so you would not feel the fear, nor the sadness, nor the anger.

An usual observation I make, is that huge amounts of poeple use their fear to unconsciously scan for the ‘right’ but unspoken codex of behaviour at any conversation in classrooms, universities, restaurants, dinner tables, living rooms, cafés, etc. . Only the first percents of Fear intensity are used to inform you so that you do not make a mistake. All the rest of your Fear is hidden and held away by your numbness.

The common term of ‘Fear is bad’ has you by your neck and you instantly shrink, tighten, forget, scratch your skin and look away the moment a subtle Feeling or Emotion of Fear arises in you. You are living up to the deeply trained and maybe most powerful standard laws of manipulation of modern culture. You are manipulating yourself and others to keep surviving but not living by avoiding Fear and directing your behaviour towards the outside ‘right’s’ and ‘wrong’s’.

The price is, you do not get to be yourself. You get to be a survivor. And your being stays cast in.

The Second Part of the Article is about to be added soon.

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Author & Contact: Markus Bork — markusbork(at)posteo.de or www.markusbork.org or SignUpToNewsletter